Talk:Shannon Keaton
From FEInfobase
I was just re-reading this entry and came up with a few things that you may want to consider as they seem a little factually implausible in the wider context of FE. In short, consider this some creative critique.
1) The constant endorsement by canon characters seems to make Keaton seem weak and unable to carry her own story. Spock, Odo and Bacco all ride to support her when they appear to have little to do with her at any other time. They only appear to save whatever policy she is championing at the time before disappearing back into deep space which to me seems to make Keaton awfully dependant on powerful people to get things done.
2) The Environmental Protection Act makes little to no sense at all. That the Federation would refuse to use any and all space available to support the overpopulation is hard to believe. The reason given, that Starfleet officers required some space for R+R, is instantly refuted by the existence of holodecks. In a world where oxygen can be created by replicated and radiation destroyed, it is not implausible to assume that any to all environmental damage could be undone reasonably easily. Personally I just find it hard to believe that a wartime administration would refuse to use any and all resources at its disposal to solve a solution with repercussions that can easily be fixed during peacetime.
3) On a personal note, the portrayal of the Federation as antagonists whilst usually interesting seems a little petulant in this case. The Federation contains corrupt members but is not an inherantly bad organisation. Keaton has been written to show the Federation as some kind of bureaucratic cesspool where she fights against adversity every day to do the 'right thing'. In short, you wrote her to be the only sympathetic character in the piece surrounded by malign, corrupt or ambivilent people.
4) That Earth was allowed to become a self-governing entity separate from the Federation and under the jurisdiction of the UEG is simply impossible. There is no way that such a thing would happen on a planet which is the hub of all space faring institutions of the Federation.
There's a bit more but I need to check a few facts first before I post them.